change

I think that people are so overly concerned with changing who they are that they forget that job belongs to time. So ready to grow up, so ready to be different, all just to prove a point that wont matter to anyone. Changing things doesnt make you a better person. It makes you lost and makes you unhappy for being something your not. Grown. In time there are seasons, and in seasons things change. Just because your in the middle of winter and you are tired of bundling up, doesnt mean that you need to go and put on shorts just to make a statement. In time spring will come, and then summer, then when summer comes youll be ready to go back to spring all because you try to be in a season that you are not in. I have a friend, that is so concerned with what people thionk about him, he changes his identity every few months. He goes through a series of arguments with people and the conclucion of each argument is that im not the same. It defeats the purpose jof saying that becasue he has never been the same person for too long. Status changes on facebook and myspace, and twitter stating how hes lettign alot of his friends go and that he will never be the same. Yet he always seems to go back to the same group of friends. Hes definatly lost and doesnt know who he is. Which is fine because everyone goes through things, but if i may be some type of assistance to anyone who is going through the samething, and say sit down.

Whats the point.

Whats the point of having long distance relationships if you dont have trust. Basically your entire relationship is a fairy tale. Its based on what you imagine that person to really be in everyday life. A waste of time in my opinion. Im wirting about this becasue my sister was crying her eyes out about a guy who lives in Mississippi, and she lives here in Illinois. She is 20 years old. She was mad because, he hasn't called her in several days. I see why she would be mad about tthat but she has to understand that she is to blame as well. when they started talking they both knew they didnt have any way of seeing eachother. They both knew they re entire relationship was going to be based on the phone. so why put your trust and full emotions on something so technological?

My Process writing.. (I DONT KNOW WHAT NUMBER)

I sat on my bed, thinking and thinking about what I was going to write about. I'm no0t too much into material things like most people are, so my paper would not have been that good had i wrote about my cellular phone, or a cup, or a mug. I decided that i wanted to write about something meaningful, and significant to me in my life. Stephanie threw a curve ball when she said that we cant tell stories, and make narratives. It was so hard to figure out how i was going to write about something that i didn't care about, and describe it to a T. I sat on my bed for about 2 hours, looking at TV, trying to come up with something to write about. nothing had come up. I even tried playing a game with myself; the first commercial that came up, no matter what it was i would have to describe it. I did. it was a sprint commercial for some new phone that was supposedly coming out. I wrote a little about it and got so everlasting bored. I hated the assignment even more. I ripped the ages and threw them across my room like a kid spitting out steamed spinach. I pouted for awhile, and finally i decided to pull myself together. I then wrote about the country kitchen. I felt alot better knowing that i was secretly talking about a time rather than a material thing, unknowingly making it harder on myself to describe the restaurant without telling a story. I found myself going deep into detail and even giving dialogue. This is going to be a good ass paper i thought to myself. Only to find myself coming up short when being graded by the beast, the queen, the ruler of writing. ugh.. writing sucks.

#7

Writing... hmm.. Once upon a time I used to love to write for fun. During lectures in high school I copied the lyrics of random songs that happened to be in my head. I was writing alot, 30 pages of songs but even then I was silent. It made me feel as if i was the one that was writing the song, and that someday I would be able to write things by myself. Lately my spirit has been down and I feel so lost in life that everything seems the same. What am I doing? I have stopped writing, which means that I have stopped talking, leaving me to believe that I dont have a voice anymore, forcing me to go be a follower in this world and just go with the flow; The flow that the world owns, which means I have no say. If I were to write a song or a poem now, it would have 4 words in it. Those four words would take up four pages. They would represent the four years that I have been silent. Who teaches us how to talk, speak, communicate, live, and write? Can they teach me again, because I feel that I have lost my words. Im at a loss for words. Im at a loss for words. Im at.. Im silent.

Disagreements

So i've been thinking about disagreements lately. i know.. i know.. what could have possibly tipped this off? i don't have time to take you on a journey into the deep and mysterious inner workings of my brain, that would take most of the next fifteen minutes. instead i'll try to paraphrase everything for you.i've always had friends i've disagreed with. always. it has never been different for me. but i tend to be quietly persuasive so though i start out with friends who disagree i often wind up with friends who either agree with me or at least claim to in order to shut me up. i have no idea what percentage of friends feels either way, and it doesn't really matter to me. we don't usually disagree on things like what medicine will save someones life or whether to hide upstairs or downstairs to escape a murderer so it rarely matters a whole lot if we come to a real agreement or it's just lip service. besides everyone knows you're supposed to go outside if a murderer is after you. upstairs just means you'll have to jump off a roof to escape. i guess you could hang drop to increase your chances of survival but really when you have the choice it's just better to be outside and on the ground to begin with.but i digress... some disagreements are important, they allow us to see a side of people that we don't see when things are peachy keen. they help us to shape our boundaries and give us the opportunity to clear the air afterwards, which can be good. sometimes the level of ire that's raised during a disagreement can turn into a separate and more important disagreement.

My very first Blog Ever.. Year 2006

Okay! So this is my very first blog ever. I wrote this when I was going through something my freshman year in high school. Dont judge it because its very immature.

"You see, it seems that people only like u for what you do, who u have done, and what you promise to them. if i was to say that i liked rap music and that i own alot of it, then i would probably be the head of a click or some stupid tish like that. alot of black gangstas and wanna bees would ve on my ass all the time- but im not...
if i was to say that i am a rock and roller and i like to go out and get laid and smoke weed, and drink, then i would probably be really popular in a group of just that. but im not!!!!!!!
if i was to say that i play basketball, and i play football, and that i would beat any dudes as* round here that says anything to me, i would probably have a child, runnin round here some where lol... BUT IM NOT, AND I DONT!!!!!!
now it may seem as if i am tryna down all those people that do what they do, so far as the sports go and everything, im not!! im makin my point!!
which is that every body is a follower!!! a follower of thier dream!! they have that right... so why cant i have mine?
why cant i dance?? why cant i sing?? why cant i live every day knowing that i too have a dream? a dream with support.... a dream in light, instead of dark.... a dream that is noticed for being success and nothing that is apart???
yes i am a male!! and that makes it even harder to love this talent of mine...
dont take this message the wrong way by thinking that we male performers are tryna make you want you to be at every performance..... and that we want to make you believe in our dreams with us, because if you dont wanna be there we most def want you to leave lol... if you do, great!!
but the minute that you come and throw it in our faces that we are never man enough, that we never have a chance of being a good father to our children never mind, i wont make any threats on my space lol ( wheeeew)....... ( enough said)"

thanks for reading my blog, I hoped you enjoyed my first spoken speach